Monday 4 November 2013

Bundesliga bad boy to Stoke City technician

"My ideal woman? Tattoos and silicone..."
Marko Arnautovic might not have had a 2013 to remember, with Werder Bremen and Stoke City failing to win a game this year when the Austrian has started, but the forwards performances for the Potters have illuminated a club still emerging from the dark ages installed under Tony Pulis.

Signed for a cut-price £2 million in the summer, the 24-year-old, has dazzled in his first few appearances in the Premier League. Mark Hughes even went so far as to suggest that the Austrian's enforced substitution at Old Trafford cost them a chance of returning with any share  of the points, in what was to be a narrow 3-2 defeat.

Arnautvic played for six different youth clubs during his teens before settling at FC Twente, where he went on to make 44 appearances, netting a respectable 12 league goals from his favoured number 10 role. He was managed by Steve McLaren, during his first Dutch odyssey, who admitted that the Austrian was the hardest player he has ever worked with.

A (dismissed) allegation of racial abuse followed soon after, in March 2009, and that summer Arnautovic and his agent engineered a lucrative loan switch to Inter Milan under Jose Mourinho, in what would prove to be the Italian sides treble winning campaign. Injuries and off field drama limited the forward to making just three appearances for the Nerazzurri in his loan spell. This disappointment on field did not prevent the player from returning to his parent club with 'Champions League winner' stitched into his boots, despite failing to make a single European appearance in Inter's remarkable run.

Ask Jose Mourinho about his year managing Arnautovic and the Portuguese regretfully mused that he was a "fantastic person with the attitude of a child." In fact, his stay in Italy was more famous for the time when he borrowed Samuel Eto'o's car, left it outside a restaurant and returned to find that the Bentley had been stolen.

After unsurprisingly failing to secure a permanent move to the Italian giants, Arnautovic was signed by Bremen for a considerable fee of £6.5 million in 2010. Here, his record of generating attention off field continued. He courted controversy before even playing a game, earning the ire of Werder Bremen captain, Torsten Frings, who labelled the young Austrian "arrogant" after a pre season training 'incident'.

His rap sheet continues as such: suffering knee ligament damage after playing with his dog, being caught speeding with team mate Elarijo Elia and suspended by the club, responding to being stopped by the police with the infamous "Shut up, I earn so much I can buy your life", a training ground punch-up with Sokratis Papastathapolous and describing the port city of Bremen as a "dump".

The German tabloids must have rued his switch to the Premier League, but so far the Austrian has kept out of the papers and has been given a free role by Mark Hughes. His ability to court attention on and off the pitch has led to comparisons with Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Indeed, both are not typically 'quick' forwards but are psychical specimens with enormous technical capability. His off field activities may not be the most endearing, but if he continues to bring his showmanship to the Britannia you won't hear many fans complaining at the £2 million outlay.

Friday 3 May 2013

Dortmund shed hipster tag

Dortmund exploded onto the mainstream football vocabulary last week, casting doubt on their role as the hipster team of choice for discerning football fans.

A standing section that holds fans for as little as €12 a game, an eccentric and loyal young manager, constant suppression by a more financially powerful rival, young and local players, fluid and attractive football and playing in the world’s most happening league means Dortmund were quite rightly the most obvious (and successful) hipster team of choice over the last five seasons.

Dortmund have won two Bundesliga titles in the last three years and also claimed two German cups in this time. Of the team that beat Real last week, the two oldest outfield players, Łukasz Piszczek and Jakub Błaszczykowski  are 27 years of age, suggesting that this team can progress and become even more expansive.

However, the demolition of Real Madrid at the Westfalenstadion last Wednesday, has thrust Dortmund into the conscious of the mainstream media (especially Jamie Redknapp) and in the eternal hipster paradox, once something becomes popular, it is surely time to move on. Under-performing should be a pre-requisite of any hipster football team, and it is clear that Dortmund have been over-indulging in footballing success.

It is easy to forget that 12 years previously Dortmund were as guilty as Bayern are now in splashing the cash to compete in the German league. The Borussians spent €28.6 million on Nicolas Amoroso in 2001, a move which won them the title, but almost bankrupted the club by 2003. In fact Dortmund were reliant on a €2 million loan from Bayern to fund their own payroll, the financial situation was so dire.

It is hard to know whether almost bankrupting your club to achieve success is an attractive trait for football hipster fans (Portsmouth are just about hip, less so Leeds and Man City) but here is a list of  football clubs, that are likely to become and then be discarded by transient football hipsters in the next few years.

Borussia Mönchengladbach

Staying in Germany, the Bundesliga’s other Borussia outfit lay claim to several of the conditions needed to be football hipster material: a young squad, a cult hero in Juan Arango, a feeling of injustice (after Dortmund exploited a release clause to take Marco Reus back) and with a nickname of Die Fohlen, they will always have their indie fans. Lucien Favre has assembled a precocious set of players; Granit Xhaka, Luuk de Jong and Barcelona target, Marc-André ter Stegen, who all look set for a fantastic future. After finishing fourth last year, Gladbach have had a fairly tepid 2012-13, ensuring hipsters can continue to back them.

Getafe

Atletico Madrid often get a raw deal as Madrid’s second club, but few fans in England will even realise Getafe are based just outside of Madrid. Michael Laudrup continued his Spanish odyssey at Getafe for a solitary season, reaching the Copa del Rey final after thumping Barcelona 4-0 en route and only being beaten by Bayern Munich in the UEFA Cup in 2008. Michael Laudrup, being oppressed by illustrious rivals and previously being sponsored by Burger King make Getafe hipster cat-nip.

Rayo Vallecano

Rayo were briefly thrust into the mainstream focus last summer after Michu introduced himself to the Premier league with a debut brace and people remembered he cost just £2 million. Thankfully this season the club have drifted back into the left-field, although that might change as clubs fight it out for this year’s top-scorer, Piti, who has 15 goals from midfield. Vallecano are another Madrid based club but unlike Real, who had strong ties with Franco’s governance, have a proud anarchist supporter group.

Fiorentina

Rather than going for lowly and leftie Livorno, Fiorentina are clearly the hipster team of choice for students of calcio. Going bankrupt in 2002, some 33 years after their last Serie A title, the club began their re-ascent with captain, Angelo Di Livio, who chose to stay with the fledgling club. Fiorentina have won a remarkable six Coppa Italia’s and current Italy boss, Cesare Prandelli cut his teeth at the Viola. Politics are important in football hipster affiliation, but any club who wears bright purple and boasts Gabriel Batistuta as a former player is impossible to resist.

Malmo

Fashion matters to football hipsters. Being able to pull-off a vintage jersey of your hipster team of choice is an important consideration. So if you’re going to go for one of Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s former teams, Malmo are the least mainstream offering. Zlatan played for Malmo for two years, wearing the below shirt as they were relegated, before firing them back up in his second year at the club. Ajax, Roma and Arsenal came sniffing that summer, with the egotistical machine moving to the Arena. Ajax director, Leo Beenhakker, got the deal done for €8 million and famously remarked: “Give me 11 arseholes like him and we’ll be champions.”

Sunday 24 March 2013

Holland's Got Talent

The race for the title looks to be all but wrapped up in Europe's 'big' five leagues: Spain, England, Italy, Germany and France by late March, but the battle for the Eredivisie is incredibly close.

Man United sit 15 clear, Barcelona are 13 points ahead, Bayern are six points away from winning the Bundesliga, after a wobble Juventus are now nine points clear and thanks to a combination of their own wealth of experience and the implosion of any challengers, PSG look likely to hold onto their five point advantage. 

By contrast, the top four teams in the Eredivisie are separated by three points, with seven left to play.



PSV exploded out of the blocks and by early December looked on course to beat the previous goal-scoring record in the Netherlands, held by Ajax from the 1966-67 season who scored 122 times. Their form and rate of scoring has dropped off  in the new year and recent mistakes have allowed Ajax to climb to the summit of the Eredivise, at the most crucial part of the season.

Managed by Dick Advocaat and led on the pitch by returning talisman, Mark Van Bommel, PSV have played some fantastic football, a goal difference of +54 is indicative of this. The lack of an obvious striker has been disguised by the goal-scoring form of Belgian, Dries Mertens, who with 13 league goals looks set for a summer move to one of Europe's elite sides. 

Kevin Strootman is a ready-made Premier League player. The 22-year-old is famous for his coverage on the pitch and at 22 he is an established part of Louis Van Gaal's young national team, along with 25-year-old Jeremain Lens. 

Despite only conceding two more goals than Ajax, when any defence contains Wilfried Bouma, who looked past it at Villa two seasons ago, this area could well be where PSV lose the title. Bouma is only playing due to injury to former Newcastle target, Erik Pieters, who lost virtually all season to injury before being sent off and punching a glass partition on his eventual return.

By contrast Ajax have been the quietly efficient challengers who now lead the pack of four in Holland. Frank de Boer has assembled a squad of young technicians who, if kept together, could be destined for great success nationally and on the continent. Manchester City were left chasing shadows when they played Ajax in Europe this season, and with another years experience (and a more favourable group) de Boer could revive the 1995 Champions League winners in European competition.

Christian Poulsen (yes Liverpool fans, that one) anchors the midfield and allows Christian Eriksen and Siem De Jong to pull the strings in midfield, with the likely full-backs of the Dutch national team for the next ten years, Daley Blind and Ricardo van Rhijn creating passing channels. Swedish winger Tobias Sana was the star last season, but Denmark’s Viktor Fischer has had a phenomenal breakthrough this year. 

The 18-year-old scored five goals in his first 10 appearances for the club; a better return than Marco Van Basten or Zlatan Ibrahimovic. He made his Champions League debut against City and in the space of three months has established himself as an integral part of the Ajax starting XI. 

Feyenoord are level on points with PSV in third place as Ronald Koeman looks to steer them to their first title since 1999. The goals of Italian target-man, Graziano Pelle, have fired Feyenoord to this heady position, but the young trio of Bruno Martins Indi, Stefan de Vrij and midfielder Jordy Clasie have grabbed equal headlines. 

All three have been capped by van Gaal in his most recent squads, with de Vrij expected to become a mainstay of the defence for years to come. The 21-year-old captains his club and has already been scouted by Brendan Rodgers. Clasie has gathered interest from around Europe, with Fiorentina known to have submitted an official bid, and the diminutive midfielder has been compared to Xavi and compatriots like Wesley Sneijder. 

One man has grabbed the headlines for Vitesse this season and the Ivory Coast look to have found a new talismanic striker in Wilfried Bony, who has grabbed 26 goals in 24 Eredivise games. Prolific goal-scorers in the Dutch league should always be treated with caution: think Mateja Kezman or Alfonso Alves, but likewise there are also Robin Van Persie's or Ruud Van Nistelrooy's ready to test themselves in a more competitive league. 

After flirting with administration in 2003, Vitesse are now owned by Georgian businessman, Merab Jordania, making them the first foreign-owned team in the Netherlands. The purchase attracted a lot of controversy in Holland at the time, but the traditional minnows are competing with the established clubs this season. Alongside Bony, Marco van Ginkel was called up to the latest Dutch squad, a sign that the investment in youth at Vitesse is reaching fruition.

The Dutch have been going about it quietly, and they will continue to slip further down the UEFA coefficient, but the Eredivisie has been slowly been assembling a pool of talented youngsters. How long these clubs will be able to hang on to these players remains to be seen, but the league and its fans are enjoying the spectacle while it can.

Saturday 19 January 2013

Pep 'snubs' the Premier League for Germany


Less than 24 hours after the Football Association delivered their remarkable coup (getting Pep to say something nice about English football) Josep Guardiola was named as the permanent manager of Bayern Munich from this summer, on a three year contract.

Cue outrage from the more easily agitated red-tops in Britain, who deemed this a snub towards the English game and bewilderment from The Sun, who had reported the week before that Pep was “100%” set to take over at Manchester City. Why the games most desirable manager would choose to work for City or Chelsea, hardly an example of sporting stability, is scarcely discussed. The thought that there could be a more attractive league or club in world football is not in the lexicon of the English tabloid media, although the FifPro World XI and later UEFA XI teams of 2012, without a single representative from the Premier League, should have been an indicator of the leagues standing outside of the UK.

PEP GUARDIOLA (as the FA were keen to label him on their 150th anniversary gala) instead decided to ply his trade in the most financially secure leagues in football, signing a three year deal, a more significant deal then he ever signed at Barcelona, where 12 month contracts were the norm. Bayern Munich may be the most financially affluent club in the Bundesliga, but their unrivalled position as the largest club in Germany and subsequent turnover means they can afford the yearly extravagance.

With Financial Fair-Play coming into effect from 2013-14, Germany’s position as an economic powerhouse, with clubs which are majority fan-owned (Wolfsburg, Leverkusen and Hoffenheim aside), will become even more advantageous.

Bayern may have a team of expensively assembled stars: Arjen Robben, Mario Gomez, Manuel Neuer, Franck Ribery and Javi Martinez all cost €30 million plus, but the club has unearthed several youth team stars in club-captains Phillip Lahm and Bastian Schweinsteiger. Thomas Muller is an academy of the reserve side and Toni Kroos has been the Bavarian’s best midfielder this season, playing in a number 10 role that is fast becoming his in the national set-up.

Holger Badstuber, Jerome Boateng and David Alaba complete a back four which has an average age of just 24. Swiss pocket dynamo, Xherdan Shaqiri, was an excellent acquisition last summer and at just 21 is the long-term successor to Ribery or Robben, while further evidence of a flourishing academy is the progress of Emre Can, already billed as "the midfielder of the future and a jewel for Bayern Munich" by chairman Uli Hoeness.

Compared to Chelsea, whose last academy graduate to establish himself at Stamford Bridge was John Terry, you can see why the fiercely proud Catalan has opted for the Bundesliga runner-up. Guardiola is likely to want to implement the Barcelona badge of football in Germany, which could be problematic for several of the existing players. Kroos has been Bayern’s best player this season, but his position at number 10 would become obsolete in a Barcelona style 4-3-3. Mario Gomez and Mario Mandžukić likewise are not suited to a possession heavy approach and would struggle to play as a ‘false 9’ like Messi.

Manuel Neuer has fantastic football technique for a goalkeeper, so should be under little pressure and the young defence is comfortable playing out from the back, though someone of Matt Hummels passing ability would enhance the unit. Convincing Arjen Robben and Franck Ribery to track and hunt possession like a La Masia graduate could be Gurdiola’s biggest challenge. Both are characters in the dressing room, and I would not be surprised to see one of the pair leave in the summer of 2013.

Guardiola already has Javi Martinez at his disposal (a player Barcelona tried to sign last summer) who lacks the soft feet of Xavi or Iniesta, but is a player who has been part of the Spain national squad for the past four years. Sergio Busquets has been inspirational for Barcelona this campaign, and you wonder whether Guardiola will attempt to convince the player he coached with the B team with him to Germany.

On a personal level I would have enjoyed seeing Guardiola take on the challenge of re-building Milan. After a heavy exodus in the last 18 months, Milan are putting faith in several youngsters: Stephan El Shaarawy, who has been excellent, left-back Mattia De Sciglio and Kevin Prince Boateng.

The three year deal in Germany seemingly coincides with Ferguson’s likely exit, and despite expressing surprise at Pep’s move to Germany, Ferguson is good friends with the 42-year-old and is likely to express support, should Guardiola wish to test himself at Old Trafford and finally indulge the FA and British media in further hyperbole.

Thursday 3 January 2013

Best league in the world?

There was a time, four years ago, when you could argue that the Premier League was the most competitive league in football.

England supplied three Champions League semi-finalists in 2007/2008, with Arsenal also competing in the quarter finals before an all English final in Moscow was settled by penalties in favour of Manchester United.

Fast forward to 2012 and the much fabled 'best league in the world' only has two representatives in the last 16 of the Champions League. Manchester United and Arsenal scraped through their respective groups, despite few convincing performances in Europe and in the coming years England's second coefficient spot could come under threat from the financially regulated might of the Bundesliga.

Whilst third place still allows four sides to compete in the Champions League, of greater concern are the performances English sides have produced when faced with foreign opposition. I can't recall any games from this campaign where a Premier League side has convincingly dominated and won a game.

Arsenal were extremely fortunate to take one point from Schalke, who topped the group, and faced some nervous moments against Montpellier, who have just six wins this season and Olympiakos, who finished just a point behind Arsenal.

Manchester United were handed one of the 'Europa League groups' that Jose Mourinho complained off, in comparison to his own teams group of death, and topped the group despite playing very poorly. United conceded first in five of their group games and generally defending terribly, but the combined fire-power of Robin Van Persie and Javier Hernandez disguised these wobbly performances.

Even the most jingoistic football fans would not suggest that English sides have a divine right to top their group, but it is the ease with which Premier League sides have been unable to match other teams in terms of ball retention and tactical acumen, which is the real indicator.

The Premier League is technically deficient compared to Serie A and La Liga, there is no question of that. Even the Bundesliga, which is the closest in terms of style of play, has several teams which are far more proficient with the ball. All three German sides topped their Champions League groups, and with Hannover, Leverkusen, Stuttgart and Monchengladbach progressing in the Europa League, the Bundesliga has an impressive seven representatives in the latter stages of European football.

Roy Hodgson and his side were outplayed by every team at Euro 2012, a 30 minute spell in the Sweden game aside, and the physical and speed focused aspects of the Premier League are starting to seriously hamper it's chances internationally.

English football has produced some incredible results over the last 12 months: United winning 8-2 over Arsenal, City scoring six at Old Trafford, Chelsea losing 5-3 to Arsenal and commentators are right to label this brand of football exciting. But exciting does not translate as effective and European sides are increasingly able to take advantage of the defensive errors that were incumbent in the previously mentioned goal-fests.

The Premier League tops the big five leagues, in terms of goals conceded as a result of individual errors, which suggests that teams are tactically stronger in La Liga, Serie A, Bundesliga and the Ligue 1 as individuals are not exposed as frequently. This stat can be found here, via whoscored.com, and is further indication that the Premier League is far from the strongest. Fans want to see well construed goals, not defensive errors which lead to efforts.

Italy occupy fourth place in the UEFA coefficients, but I would argue that the strength of their league is greater than the Premier League. A hypothetical top six of Juventus, Inter, Milan, Roma, Fiorentina and Napoli would beat a supposed top six of United, Man City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs and Newcastle from England

The tactical dominance of Serie A was displayed in Turin three weeks ago, as Juventus romped to a 3-0 scoreline, which flattered Chelsea in truth. Roberto Di Matteo was sacked the next day, but there was very little any side could have done to stop Juventus that evening. Their fluid 3-5-2 saw the Old Lady dominate all areas of the pitch, with numerical superiority in defence and midfield.

Manchester United emerged as 3-2 winners in the hectic Manchester derby this afternoon but the 4-2 between Roma and Fiorentina in Italy on the same weekend featured the better football, from teams that are likely to fight it out for fourth place.

The Roy of the Rovers style of the Premier League may be exciting to some, but football purists and fans will appreciate the technical dominance exercised by the rest of Europe and hope that theses teams won't escape further into the distance before the English game tries to catch up.


Some Totti genius.

Wednesday 2 January 2013

Why the Demba Ba switch could be good business for both parties (and agents)

Demba Ba looks set to swap St James' Park for West London today, completing a £7.5 million move to Chelsea.

Newcastle's prolific striker is the first of the Graham Carr signings to have enhanced their reputation at Newcastle before moving on, and as long as the Magpies can keep their other main stars they should creep away from the bottom of the table.

After another defensive batting collapse, the 2-1 reverse to Everton, Pardew admitted what most of us could see: the Ba and Cisse combination was one that never worked.

Last season Ba was shifted right to accommodate the red-hot form of Cisse and this campaign it was Ba with the Midas touch, with Cisse shifted wide.

Given that Ba actually played as a wide midfielder for Hoffenheim, Pardew's deference to him must have been an, ultimately fruitless, ploy to convince the striker to commit to the club.

The Chelsea switch is beneficial for all parties: Ba's goals and form helped fire Newcastle to fifth last year and in doing so has earned himself a move to the European champions. A free-signing in a pay-as-you-play deal, Ba represents excellent value for money for Newcastle.

£5 million of that return looks to be signing Matthieu Debuchy from Lille, one of the few highlights from France's Euro 2012 campaign. Mike Ashley needs to back Pardew's eight year deal in the transfer market, with Newcastle needing at least another two defenders and now cover up front.

It can be no coincidence that Cisse scored in the first game since Ba's exit was all but confirmed, and if Davide Santon had glanced across the box the Newcastle number nine ought to have drawn the game level.

This graphic from whoscored.com is an excellent indicator of why I think Newcastle will be better off with Cisse up front on his own, without a team set up around Ba.


Ba has a fantastic goal-scoring record since moving to the Premier League, but his tally of 0 assists for Newcastle is a reminder of his limitations as a striker.

Newcastle's game plan this season has involved hitting it long to Ba, who in turn tries his luck from about 30-35 yards. Remember any go in? His inability to involve team mates can't have helped the team perform as a unit and is a polar opposite to his new striking rival at Chelsea.

Fernando Torres has surfaced from his dearth of confidence, but he still seems unwilling to try percentage shots, preferring a simple pass to a team mate which isn't always the best option.

Ba's shoot on sight policy at Newcastle is unlikely to be welcome at Stamford Bridge, but his selfish running and movement could be the perfect tonic for Chelsea's midfielders.

Ba's exit gives Alan Pardew an opportunity to start again at Newcastle. Cisse proved he can score for fun last season and with Hatem Ben Arfa and Yohan Cabaye returning to fitness, Newcastle fans should be quietly confident that their team edges up the table.

Sylvain Marveaux might have taken twelve months to recover from injury and settle at St James' Park, but he has been outstanding in recent games and a front three of Cisse, Ben Arfa and Marveaux will trouble defences in the Premier League. The absence of Ba, results in a more fluid triumvirate up front and Newcastle will no longer be able to rely on the long-ball.

Pardew was able to call upon the same back five in the first fourteen fixtures of 2011/2012, but a succession of injuries have meant his defensive unit and midfield has been in flux this season. Injury to Cabaye and Ben Arfa, Newcastle's best midfielders and the best  Frenchmen in England, has been a big loss and Cheick Tiote has had a disappointing 2012.

Newcastle's squad is of the calibre to be competing for a top ten finish. Mike Ashley must back Pardew in the transfer window and with a little more luck over injuries, Newcastle should ease away from danger in 2013.

Sunday 23 December 2012

Premier League window shopping

Daniel Sturridge looks set to be the first high-profile of the January transfer window, so here is my look at where and how clubs might strengthen in January.

Manchester United
Who they need: a defensive midfielder/enforcer type.
Who I would sign: Arturo Vidal would be the dream signing. Cheick Tiote or Gokhan Inler good alternatives.
Who they will actually sign: No one.

Manchester City
Who they need: defenders who can play a 3-5-2, wingers other than Scott Sinclair
Who I would sign: Giorgio Chiellini, Stefan de Vrij, David Villa, Pato could be available.
Who they will actually sign: Daniele De Rossi.

Arsenal
Who they need: two full-backs and a striker.
Who I would sign: Robert Lewandowski, Mario Gotze, David Alaba, Davide Santon.
Who they will actually sign: Fernando Llorente and Wilfried Zaha.

Everton
Who they need: an extra defender to cover at centre-back.
Who I would sign: Douglas from FC Twente.
Who they will actually sign: Rhys Williams

Tottenham
Who they need: a number 10
Who I would sign: Wesley Sneijder might be wishful thinking. Willian, Mezut Ozil, Ikay Gundagan.
Who they will actually sign: Willian or Joao Moutinho.

West Brom
Who they need: cover at full-back.
Who I would sign: Jetro Willems.
Who they will actually sign: Alan Hutton.

Chelsea
Who they need: a striker if Sturridge goes. A better sitting midfielder.
Who I would sign: Radamel Falcao, Vidal.
Who they will actually sign: Falcao, Pato, Robinho.

Liverpool
Who they need: a striker and goal-scoring midfielder
Who I would sign: Daniel Sturridge, Jonathan De Guzman.
Who they will actually sign: Sturridge.

Stoke
Who they need: set-piece maestro.
Who I would sign: Juan Arango.
Who they will actually sign: David Beckham.

Norwich
Who they need: at 31, Grant Holt will need replacing soon.
Who I would sign: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang.
Who they will actually sign: Adam Le Fondre.

Swansea
Who they need: Wayne Routledge's hot streak will end soon.
Who I would sign: David Villa, Tobias Sana.
Who they will actually sign: Derk Boerrigter

West Ham
Who they need: a right-winger.
Who I would sign: Stefan Aigner, Alan. Diego Capel.
Who they will actually sign: Gareth McCleary, David Beckham.

Fulham
Who they need: central midfielders aged less than 30.
Who I would sign: James McCarthy, Fernando Gago.
Who they will actually sign: Douglas, Momo Sissoko.

Newcastle
Who they need: a centre-back.
Who I would sign: Douglas, Toby Alderweireld.
Who they will actually sign: Adam Lallana, Michael Dawson.

Sunderland
Who they need: two full-backs and defenders who aren't free transfers.
Who I would sign: Joleon Lescott, Martin Kelly, Matthieu Debuchy.
Who they will actually sign: Nicholas Anelka, John Heitinga.

Aston Villa
Who they need: a left wing-back.
Who I would sign: Sime Vrsaljiko, Juan Zuniga.
Who they will actually sign: William Kvist.

Wigan
Who they need: a more clinical striker.
Who I would sign: Joel Campbell, Dirk Kuyt.
Who they will actually sign: Marouane Chamakh.

QPR
Who they need: younger players with a point to prove.
Who I would sign: Demba Ba, Michael Dawson, Dries Mertens.
Who they will actually sign: Nicholas Anelka, Lucio.

Reading
Who they need: Premiership quality players.
Who I would sign: Stoppila Sunzu, Alan Hutton, Darren Bent.
Who they will actually sign: Nigel Quashie.